Imagine a brutal hellscape where humans have lost all self-sufficiency and spend their entire lives plugged into computers. Their unfeeling overlords dictate every aspect of their lives, right down to what they eat and what they think. Escape from this perdition is inescapable only until death.
It’s easy to imagine, because that situation is also called life. But the Wachowski brothers imagined a much more merchandisable version of reality called The Matrix and made eleventy billion dollars in the process.
“Wake up, Neo.”
The Matrix tells the story of Neo, a normal guy who one day found out that he was “The One” and had superpowers and could shoot anyone he wanted and also he had a hot girlfriend and could stay up past his bedtime. (We’re not too sure the Wachowskis didn’t consult a think tank of seventh-grade boys when coming up with The Matrix.) The 1999 blockbuster spawned two sequels: The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions. A fourth film is slated for release in 2021 tentatively titled, The Matrix: The Wachowskis Need New Yachts.
The Matrix and its sequels feature a lot of guns. In this article we’ll tell you our favorites from the trilogy. If you’re angry because we left out one of your favorites, please write your complaint on the hood of a black 1963 Lincoln Continental and mail it to our office.
Guns In The Matrix
IMI Desert Eagle Mark XIX
The Agents are like the antivirus software of The Matrix universe, personified as phlegmatic G-men. They carry IMI Desert Eagles chambered for 50 Action Express. The 4.4 pound handgun has some serious recoil and isn’t considered suitable for real combat, but Agents aren’t bound by the laws of physics and can handle their Desert Eagles with ease. A 50 AE Desert Eagle’s magazine holds seven rounds, and in true movie fashion the Agents fire their pistols more times than is possible without reloading. For once this kind of makes sense, though — since the Agents are computer programs inside of a computer program, their handguns are probably just coded not to need reloading. We’re against that technology.
Neo dual-wields Beretta 92FS pistols while he and Trinity go to rescue Morpheus. Coincidentally, Neo chooses nearly the same weapon as John McClane had during his own perilous ascent up a tower to save hostages. Whereas McLane carried a 92F, however, Neo’s 92FS features an enlarged hammer pin to prevent the slide from flying off during a malfunction. Neo wouldn’t have looked as cool if that happened to him.
Neo and Trinity both fire Micro Uzis during the famous tower lobby fight. (A scene that never sat right with us. Were the tower security guards also evil computer programs, or just lackeys who unwittingly got caught in Neo’s crosshairs?) True to its name, the Micro Uzi is only 11.1” long when its stock is folded, as opposed to the original Uzi’s 18.5” length. At only 3.3 pounds the Micro Uzi is not too much heavier than a semi-automatic handgun. Its 1,200 rpm rate of fire makes it an obvious choice for the guns of the Matrix.
Beretta 84FS Cheetah
Trinity carries two of these handsome Italian pistols. The directors had wanted Trinity to carry the same Berettas as Neo, but they decided that a 5’9” actress was dwarfed by full-sized pistols. The 84FS Cheetah is available in 22 LR, 32 ACP, and 380 ACP. At least Trinity’s pistols were chambered for the most powerful caliber available. A 22 wouldn’t do very much to an Agent.
Yugoslav Model 61 Skorpion
Neo brings along two of these submachine guns to the lobby shootout as well. The Skorpion is available chambered for 32 ACP, 9mm, 9×18 Makarov, or 380 ACP. It is most certainly not chambered for 5.56×45, although it is that caliber’s shell casings which spit out of Neo’s chambers. This is possibly just more Matrix magic, or perhaps the directors thought 32 ACP casings looked too measly for so climactic a fight scene. While dual-wielding submachine guns is tricky, the Skorpion’s very low recoil would suit it better for the pastime.
Custom Automatic Shotguns
The aptly named “Mouse” dual-wields automatic 12 Gauge shotguns when he gets trapped by Agents. These fully functional props were built specifically for The Matrix by the movie’s armorer John Bowring. He named the shotguns “Andy” and “Larry” after the Wachowskis, and gave them serial numbers that correspond to the directors’ names as well.
GE M134 Minigun
Neo empties one of these big boys from a helicopter to clear all the Agents out of the room where Morpheus is being held captive. It is not recommended that you resolve a delicate hostage situation with the aid of a six-barrel rotary machine gun capable of firing up to 6,000 rpm — but then again, this is Neo we’re talking about.
Guns Of The Matrix Reloaded
Morpheus uses an 18C in 9x19mm to fight the freaky identical twins who can phase through solid matter. He starts off with the pistol’s stock 19-round magazine, but reloads with the optional 33-round mag once he realizes how thoroughly awful the twins are. The 18C has the same dimensions as Glock’s vanilla 17, but features additional compensator slots in its barrel and slide to facilitate accurate rapid fire. The 18C also has an external fire selector that switches between semi-automatic and full-automatic firing modes, which means you can’t legally buy one.
COP 357 Derringer
Persephone uses this four-barreled pocket pistol loaded with silver bullets to dispatch of a vampire. The little gun chambered for 357 Magnum weighs 1.75 pounds empty, and its barrel pops up for loading in the same fashion as a DoubleTap. Its a unique weapon with four chambers, four firing pins, and one rotating striker. The COP isn’t especially popular owing to its large bulk and heavy trigger pull that prohibits rapid fire.
Guns Featured In The Matrix Revolutions
Heckler & Koch P9S
Morpheus takes care of business with a P9S while he’s in a place called “Club Hell.” (Who picked that name?) The P9 was designed in West Germany in the late 60s. It used polygonal rifling before Gaston Glock ever thought to make a handgun. Morpheus could have had any gun he wanted, but the older P9S is still popular on frontlines to this day. Fans like its crisp trigger and light recoil.
Colt Detective Special
A willowy bum with bad teeth unloads this little revolver at Morpheus and company during a chase. The Detective Special is the first snub-nosed revolver, with a 2” barrel and swing-out frame. The original Fitz Special of the 20s had a very aggressive design. It featured a bobbed hammer spur and trigger guard that didn’t completely guard the trigger. Colt’s redesigned Detective Special became a great success and stayed in production for 68 years. The Detective Special got a little boost in popularity thanks to Joker in 2019. It’s the same revolver the clown uses throughout the movie.
Into The Matrix
“I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit at your computer.”
It’s easy to see the parallels between the Matrix films and the modern world. We’ve all become so inundated with technology that we easily forget our own individuality and humanity. Did the sequels to the original Matrix film suck? Sure, but so can mindless social media, television, and every other piece of technological drivel forced upon and ultimately embraced by the masses. For many of us, technology has become an escape from the problems of the “real world.” But we can’t forget who we are, or what makes us human. Don’t forget to occasionally unplug yourself and escape from the Matrix.